I'm BACK!

“Come, come whatever you are, it doesn’t matter
Whether you are an infidel, an idoleter or a fire-worshiper
Come, our convent is not a place of despair
Come,even if you violated your swear
A hundred times, come again.”

Mevlana

that's it for now :)

the day i was born 22 years ago...

hey there, salam..

today was my birthday and it didn't start on a good note. this was because my medication ran out and i couldn't sleep last night. however, that didn't stop the day to proceed to a higher octave.

it stared off with me doing the laundry i've put off since the last decade. then had a subway lunch with my bro (his treat as always).

kim and zayan picked me up at setiawangsa station and went to Lot10 to pick up kim's new watermelon (because of the pink and green colour of it) Roxy glasses~ (it's super awesome, what a colour i tell you and it fits kim perfectly!). on the way there i told them that it was my birthday today, since they seemed like they didn't remember (no hard feelings guys, it's no big deal really :D) so we decided to have tea at DELIcious. the food there is heaven~

later for dinner we (my bro and i) went to pick mum up from the LRT station and had dinner at OldTown in Jusco AU2.

despite having not slept the whole night yesterday and no hope for a good wink today too...today was not bad at all...it was actually VERY good!

and i'm glad for all the wishes from all my friends. old and new. and very old!

thank you all

Never fear shadows. They simply mean there's a light shining somewhere nearby.

-Ruth E. Renkel

Look Go

Do you know when I escape
To where my dreams take?
The scattered ashes I try to catch
Left me breathless and ragged

Do you know when at night
To where my journeys end?
The billowing wind shakes the trees
Giving me peace and sadness creeps

Do you know when I see
To where my captures seize?
The bothering sun beam stings
But gives light you dismissed

Do you know when I breathe
To where the whiteness bleaks?
These red rings bleed
Searing pain is not for the weak

Do you know when waves crash
To where the pearl sleeps?
Erase what attracts and match
Forcing me to count sheeps

Do you know when the sun rises
To where the eagles fly?
Stumble and fall, fear and cry
But that does not mean I do not try

Look.

Tell me you don’t know
And
Go.

black henna

A religious leader came to visit Rabi'a, and was shocked to see that her clothes were in tatters. He said: 'There are many people who would provide you with decent clothes, if you would only allow them.' Rabi'a replied: 'Everything in this world is on loan to us from God. I am ashamed to accept the loan of a loan.' The man went away, and said to others: 'It is astonishing that a mere woman has reached such spiritual heights. She refuses to spend any time on material matters.'
-Attar, "Rabi'a"

Grief clouds thought and reason, and harms both the soul and the body; so you should repel it, or reduce it as much as possible. This can be done in two ways: you can strive to prevent grief from occurring; and you can banish grief when it does occur.
-Razi: Kitab al-Muluki

will i?

crisp brown leaves flying
creeping, maybe i could win
this battle within, kept me wondering
all this toil, suffering and sacrifices
will it lead to the mystical spring with a hint of winter
or only to a carpet of ashes and cinders?

come escape with me

shadow of the wind
show me something blue
tell me just don't mind
this happens to you too

whisper of the tree
give me a paradigm
so that i can finally see
things that aren't worth a dime

shimmer of the stream
prove to me again
occurrences are not what they seem
look not at what you can gain

silence of the rain
i shall join you
and share your pain
if this doesn't come through

stay with me wind
and tree be my shelter
i won't mind
taking care of you later

stream, cool my heat
and rain, cleanse me deep
stop and greet
take that faithful leap

-shaqyl

awak ni dah kenapa?

kenapa ya kalau saya buat kebajikan (buat baik la kiranya) (bukan nak bangga ke apa, bukan nak menunjuk ke apa) yg pada pandangan orang terlampau baik sangat, orang tegur.

kalau orang lain buat jahat yg terlampau sangat, tak ada pula mereka tegur.

saya rasa kecik hati jika orang tegur begitu.

kenapa saya tak boleh buat? bukannya saya buat benda buruk pun.

saya suka, ia memberi ketenangan.

saya patut ignore kn?

tapi tak mungkin saya boleh buat begitu, saya manusia juga.

Seek a true friend,
for a friend seeks the benefit of a friend,
Do good to the people for the sake of God
or for the peace of your own soul
that you may always see what is pure
and save your heart from the darkness of hate.
-Rumi, "Mathnawi"

That which God said to the rose,
and caused it to laugh in full-blown beauty,
He said to my heart,
and made it a hundred times more beautiful.
-Mathnawi [III, 4129]

The first who will be summoned to paradise are those who have praised God in every circumstance.
-Traditional Islamic Saying

wwwhat do you think???

i was just staring at my ceiling the other night waiting for my pill's effect to kick in, this thought came to me. it might be a common topic but i haven't talked about it thoroughly yet.

you know how kids these days follow the western way of 'coupling' right?

now, i think, because of this trend, marriage doesn't seem like the obvious choice if you meet someone you could love. they would prolly think, why get official with marriage when 'coupling' makes it official too.

when you get together and announce yourselves as a 'couple'. you get more intimate, touching and sharing stuffs. and then when you get married, the pull is gone, the attraction might last for a while after the wedding but it will eventually fade (in most cases, which end in divorces)

i mean where's the fun in that? not fun, FUN! you get what i mean.

the girl/guy prolly have 'coupled' a few times before (an assumption). this, i think erases some of the sparks of a person.

you are married to someone who has been with someone else before, someone else has touched (lovingly) her/him before you did, you have touched someone else before too. the excitement of it is gone. there is nothing special about him/her anymore. sort of like been there done that. and some might even go to the unfathomable extend as to compare!

there isn't the charming electrifying feeling when you look at her/him because you know someone has had the same feeling before. you are never truly his, and he never truly yours.

so why 'couple' up?

like in the US, 49% of marriages result in divorces. why? because when you are in a unofficial-official relationship ('couple'), you fight and break-up. maybe not the small fights. but one big one does the job. so they bring that set of mind in to the world of marriage.

also, when you 'couple' the red line between wrong and right is magically removed. so there's no 'wrong' in having a 'sideline' when you're married to someone else.

look at the old couples, look at how blissfully happy they are. they truly belong to each other. spent their whole lives together, never with someone else before.

i would want that kind of a relationship. and it goes with my religion too. God is great

yes crushes, of course everyone has had them. they are harmless no? there's no wrong in having crushes the way i see it. as long as it's just a crush. not stalking or worshiping.

what do you think?

------------------------------------------

although, goofing around with friends is an entirely different thing.
the same rules apply, know your limit.

A person once asked the Prophet Muhammad to pray for him. So the Prophet implored, "O Allah, kindle within his heart the light of faith, and afford him with the courage to avert earthly wiles and submit himself before Your will." When a person turns away from the world, he adheres to God, and God lavishes incredible bounty on him.

-Sheikh Abdul Qadir Jillani, "Fayuz E Yazdani"

==================================================

God has said, "Spend;" so earn something,
since there can be no expenditure without income.
Although He used the word, Spend absolutely,
read it, "Earn, then spend."


-Rumi, Mathnawi [V, 579-580]

something's in the air

i am working on a personal project right now. well, making something for someone. it's not mine to begin with. it's the work of the person that i am making it for. make sense? it's the person's rough (and i mean roughest of the roughest) sketch. i promised to clean it up a long time ago. i bet the person does not even remember. although, that is to be discovered when i give it to the said person.

haha, twisted up there no? i am not gonna reveal what i am working on nor whom i will be giving it to. i will however tell you that i have FINALLY made progress with it. it's going somewhere, after months of just staring at it and have no idea whatsoever of where/how to start.

i went to the IIU library to look for references. emm got some, yes, but since i am no longer a student there (yes, i am not over it) i can't borrow the books. a friend offered to lend her card, but i refused, cause there were, say 4 books that i wanted to borrow plus i wasn't gonna use the whole book. didn't want to trouble her. anyways i made copies of the specific pages that i wanted at the photocopy centre. they are an angry bunch i must say, perhaps i caught them on a bad day? even so, ahh never mind~ they even made bad copies of the pages, they were dirty, and dark. i couldn't see the details, which is why i looked for references in the first place. huh -_-'

that aside, i am

very excited at the moment! touch wood. hopefully things will look up from here on.

and yes, of course i will post it here, soon as i have given it to the person. i let you know how it went too...

:)

a good read

Do not reveal to friends all the secrets you possess; they may one day become enemies. Do not inflict on enemies every injury in your power; they may one day become friends.
-Sadi, "Gulistan"

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The Merciful is kind to those who are merciful. If you show compassion to your fellow creatures in this world, then those in heaven shall be compassionate toward you.
-The Prophet Muhammad (SAW), as narrated by Abd'Allah bin Amr

============================================

The sign of the friend of God is that he has three qualities: a generosity like that of the ocean, a compassion like that of the sun, and a humility like that of the earth.
-Bayazid in 'Attar, "Tadhkirat"

============================================

Do not strut proudly on account of your good deeds. Do not let pride waylay you. When you deem yourself holier than others, know that you have fallen into grave error because in your pride you believed yourself equal to God.
-Sheikh Abdul Qadir Jillani, "Futhul Ghaib"

Unusual (and fun!) Hang-out Ideas

was just browsing through some blogs and i stumbled upon this from here

Unusual (and fun!) Date Ideas

1. Go on a search for as many good climbing trees as possible, climb as high as you both can in all of them, compile photo evidence
2. Go to a major chain bookstore, and leave notes to future readers in copies of your favorite books
3. Have her dress up as a ghost and you dress uup us Pacman. Walk around downtown holding hands, and whenever anyone sees you two, pretend to be embarrassed, and run off screaming “wocka wocka wocka.”
4. Create photo evidence suggesting that you went on an adventure that didn’t really happen
5. Dress up as superherous and stop at least one petty crime “ie. jaywalking, littering….”
6. Build forts out of furniture and blankets, and wage war with paper airplanes.
7. Try and visit as many people as you can in one night, and turn as many things inside their apartment upside down as you can, without them noticing.
8. Go to the airport, get the cheapest, soonest departing flight to anywhere when you show up, and stay there for a weekend.
9. Write a piece of fiction together. Outside at a cafe. Ask strangers when you get stuck.
10. Dress to the nines, pretend to be married, and test drive very expensive vehicles at an auto dealership.
11. Do the lamest tourist thing in your area that you have both secretly wanted to do forever. Have an unabashed good time!
12. In the middle of the night, drive to the beach, so you arrive just as the sun is rising. Have a breakfast picnic, then fall asleep together. Bring a sun umbrella.
13. Drive somewhere unknown and have dinner in a city you’ve never been to. With fake names.
14. Go to a minor league baseball game under the stars. Tell each other stories about how bad you are at athletics. Randomly cheer for both teams. Eat lots of Cracker Jack.
15. Go around the city with sidewalk chalk and draw hearts with equations inside on random things
16. Walk around a city and perform short silent plays in front of security cameras
17. With camera and pair of boots, make photolog of a day in the life of the invisible man.
18. Walk around the city all night and find a place to eat breakfast at dawn
19. Go to a restraunt and convince the cook to create something completely new for you.
20. Rent a movie you’ve never seen before. Set on mute and improvise dialogue.

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just the other day we were wondering out loud, "i wish we could just find 'the one' right now, tired of waiting~"

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p/s: NOT that i am encouraging dating! merely a useless post. i, myself am not into these dating trends. again, just a fun post, you could do them with your friends!

-aah to make it friendlier, lets change the title 'Unusual (and fun!) Hang-out Ideas'

-also 'her' to 'him/her'

the watchers.

design by shaqyl.

the eyes are mine. could you believe it? :P


-------------------------------------------------
i still have eyes that can see, i still a life i can live peacefully (doubtful)
the city that is pictured up there is still in one piece, is still living

open your eyes and see, see the pain i see
see the sadness, see the cruelness!
see the crumbling of the sacred city
see the stiff bodies, some in pieces

pray people pray!

get your butt up and do something for God's sake, for heaven's sake!

stop being so ignorant!!

thunder in their world

Poem: Only Thunder [Thoughts About Gaza]

Sr. Marryam

“I was telling them this is thunder, don’t worry, don’t be afraid.”
—Ayman Atalla, 38, talking of his three children in the December 2008 Israeli massacre of Gazans

it’s only thunder
don’t you worry
don’t be afraid
lay your head down
close your eyes
because its only thunder

but father, father
the bombs are dropping
and i am afraid
our house is shaking
our windows breaking
and i am afraid

no child no
it’s only thunder
so don’t you worry
don’t be afraid
just lay your head down
and close your eyes now
for its only thunder

but father, father
the sky is smoking
and i am afraid
the streets are cracking
and boys next door are bleeding
and i am afraid

oh dear daughter
it’s only thunder
please don’t worry
don’t be afraid
go lay your head down
and let your eyes close
it’s only thunder cracking

but father, father
why wont you answer?
cant you hear me?
tell me, ‘don’t be afraid’
tell me, ‘don’t be afraid’
because i’m so afraid
i am so afraid

The World I Live In : Reflections on Gaza

Sr. Irum Sarfaraz

Far beyond the rusted iron bars On the window of my home
I see a world that is utopia to me
It watches its children grow up in peace
And sees them laugh
And sees them live
That world beyond is a bubble to me
That has perfect harmony
And color
And life
That world to me is a fairy tale
That exists for me
As fairy tales do
In books
And stories
And fables

The world I live in is no fable
Or utopia
Or fairy tale
The world I live in is a world
That functions
On one day to the next,
One breath to another and
One heartbeat to the second basis.
I’ve heard that the utopian world
Beyond my borders
Is a coveted one

But I have no time to remonstrate
Or passion to envy
Or desire to desire
Any longer
I buried my children in Gaza today


Poem: Reflections Over Tea

This mint came from Palestine she said
While she poured my tea, dark red and glowing
I looked up, blankly starring
This mint came from Palestine she said

I sip it
Slowly
Let it seep in

I try to let it all
Sink in
Some drinks
Aren't as sweet though

That's the problem

Like watching behind a screen
My homeland I never knew
Blow
Up
Before my eyes
Always behind
A screen

Then comes the wind
Blowing
Away the ashes
And drying my
Tearless face

The rain falls gently
Washing away some
Of the blood
Some
Of the debris from a bombed out building

In a green patch near a graveyard
The mint leaves quietly
Drink in
Their long awaited
Nourishment
In that homeland I never knew

When Allah desires the redemption of His People, He causes them to suffer in this world. But when He is averse, He leaves them to transgress until death overtakes.

-The Prophet Muhammad (SAW), as reported by Anas bin Malik

Dhu'l-Nun was asked: "What causes a devotee to be worthy of entrance to paradise?" He said: "One merits entrance to paradise by five things: unwavering constancy, unflagging effort, meditation on God in solitude and society, anticipating death by preparing provision for the hereafter, and bringing oneself to account before one is brought to judgment."

-'Attar, "Tadhkirat"