Sunday, August 31, 2008

wishes from the whiteseeker to the world

Ramadhan is so beautiful, A time when we are free from the shaytaan.
May peace and blessings of Allah be upon His Beloved Prophet Muhammad
and May he be pleased with his family, and his companions.
May Allah grant us acceptance of our sowm in the coming month of Ramadhan.
May Allah grant us steadfastness in the blessed month of Ramadan.
May Allah place mercy, forgiveness, and love in our hearts.
May Allah shower us with his Forgiveness, and Mercy.
All Praise belongs to Allah, to Whom belongs The Kingdom of heaven and
Ya Allah to Thee we return and Thee alone.
Ya Allah to Thee we belong and Thee alone.
Ya Allah bless us to be amongst those whom are granted Jannatul Firdausa.
Ya Allah, Ya Allah. La illaha ill Allah.
Ameeen, Ya Rabill Ala Ameen.

*May Allah Accept your Fast (Ameen)
*May Allah Accept your Salaat (Ameen)
*May Allah Accept your Dua's (Ameen)
*May Allah Accept your deeds (Ameen)
*May Allah make your Dreams come true (Ameen)
*May Allah forgive you for the things you do wrong (Ameen)

bull's eye!

Persevere, have faith in His benevolence.
Through afflictions God only tests your faith;
He is completely aware of your condition.
Have patience and wait for the divine decree.
Do not become like the foolish laborer
who is removed from the king's palace
for demanding his wages ahead of time.

-Sheikh Abdul Qadir Jillani, "Fayuz E Yazdani"

sort of fits the occasion no?
here i am thinking of, thinking of giving up.
and this pops perfect is that?!

be patient and wait? how hard can that be?
i've only been doing that for 21 years

what's another decade or so? ^_^v

would you accept? can we?

God now said to Muhammad: 'I gave my past messengers many wise words to convey to the people; and these words were written down to guide future generations. Each of these messengers knew that I would send a further messenger to confirm the message I had given them. Do you accept this? Will you take up this burden?'

Muhammad answered: 'I accept.'

-Ibn Ishaq, "The Life of Muhammad"

also, check out this entry

don't you wish you could be in that usrah? such times would benefit us in many ways. also it can serve as a reminder of the beauty of Islam~

pieces that stood out...

Do not reveal to friends all the secrets you possess; they may one day become enemies. Do not inflict on enemies every injury in your power; they may one day become friends.

-Sadi, "Gulistan"


Once Luqman was asked how he had attained such merit. He replied, "By adhering to virtue, by fulfilling all pledges, and by giving up futile apprehensions."

-The Prophet Muhammad (SAW), as reported by Malek bin Hawari


The intelligent person sees with the heart
the result from the beginning;
the one lacking in knowledge
only discovers it at the end.

-Mathnawi [V, 2570]


-strive to be that person-

Saturday, August 30, 2008

asna, this is for you

words can not describe how i truly miss studying architecture~ T~T

keep looking up~

the title= azwar said that to me when i finally told him the story of my horrible week and how i am tired of all this...just tired. i need a break from this excruciating soul torment...

-excuse the tone of overly describing feelings/things-

so yea, had a terrible (to the power of ten) week, had worst though. let that be.

talk about this week first.

i kinda got my hopes up too high, when appealing for the second time for re-ad to IIU. this time around i told Bro Hisham about it. well shafiq did after we met in the lrt. then Bro Hisham called me and asked to see him.

and so i went. told him the whole story. he asked to do a list of what happened and when. i did. handed it in. he read it. told me he'd get an appointment with the dean. he did. we went, Bro came with me. i explained my situation. he listened. then he called the sciences dept.

at that time in my head, "here we go again"

however i heard that sciences has got a new deputy dean, i was glad to hear that. perhaps this deputy dean will understand where i stand.

to my dismay, he was not in. another Bro came in his place.

surprise surprise~ the same Bro when i first appealed came.

that's when all my high high hopes came crashing dust.

and as i expected, no surprise there. on Wednesday i got the letter from sciences. my appeal has been rejected. again.

that's one thing about the said blood-sucking darkness of this week.


started my new semester over at KDU (kolej duit utama-as they so cleverly calls it)

classes everyday! starts at 8 ends at 3/4. means i have to get up at 6 to make the 2 hour journey there. *#^$#*#@ bus system.

i was late for about 3 out of 5 morning classes this week. not late 5@10 mins. get this 45 mins late.

oh yea and on monday, i reached class at 8.45 (by the way, thank you for not informing of the change of venue). sat down for 3 mins.

-class over-


supposedly the class was until 10. but sir had something to do so he ended it earlier.


had a fight with aiman. (you don't want to know)


the usual home problems. (neither will you want to know this) (plus it's a loooooooooo (insert more 'o's here) ng story


back aches




found out i have astigmatism in my left eye


lack of appetite


three boring lecturers (seriously, they were once students too right?)


oh enough of reminiscing the week. doing this gets my blood pressure rising too fast too furiously.


thank you azwar, as you put it you may not have been present all the time, but i appreciate it when you are.

Friday, August 15, 2008


i just realised

that i

have posted

two entries

with the



in its title

in the

same week


life and mine

life can be defined in so many ways.
as is the way people go through it.
as is the facets of it.
as is the trials and tribulations of it.
as is the people it is given to.
as is everything.
even death.

so why is it that some refuse to look at things from a different angle?
why is it difficult for some to accept that perhaps there's another way to look at it?

in typing in this entry, i am reminding you and i of the fact that somethings need to be approached differently for it to make sense or to be solved to the extend that which it satisfies all the parties that will be affected.

currently frustrated with IIU. why is it hard for them to admit that they could be wrong?

and i have to take the blame for it?

it is easy for 'him' to say that "maybe this is meant to happen, you will have to accept this and go on"

but it isn't entirely my fault!!!!

i have no proof to show, that is why they are all being unpleasant to me except for one nice man who believes me and wants to help me settle this.

because truthfully, i cannot bear the huge weight of guilt of draining my mum's hard earned money to pay for my tuition fees anymore than ever...

i need this. i need to get back into IIU. for my and my mum's sake.


i pray only to You for guidance and patience in adversity.

help me~ -_-"

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

be satisfied in joy

Do not think of God as isolated from his creation. Do not think of God as bound by rules. Do not compare God with any other entity. Beware of thinking of God as remote.

You are not God; and you are God. You see him in the essences of all things; yet he is boundless.

-Ibn Arabi, "Fusus al-hikam"

Seek what you wish from God, not from men.
Be satisfied in joy; there is honor therein.
On friends and relatives be not a burden.
Rich is he who hopes from God, not from men.

-Al-Ghazzali, "Ihya Ulum Id-Din"

a trip to life

the side effects are starting to kick in now. agitation. on going headaches. fatigue. lack

of appetite. the urge to vomit everything i eat. stuffs like that.

it is uncomfortable but i am used to it. you must remember that this isn't my first time.

people around me say, it's all in the mind. you just have to think it off. how do i use this

power of the mind when my spirit is running on empty? i often wonder how i am getting on.

what makes me wake in the morning. how i could still have the energy to pretend that i am


perhaps i still have the will to live. perhaps even if i think that i am hopeless and may

have lost my faith, there's still hope and faith in me without me realising it's there.

i wonder what is in store for me when i do get pass this phase. perhaps i am living based on

that curiosity, that curiosity of what the future holds. i believe so. it fits.

there is this thought, when one doesn't have a family, one creates it with people around.

how do you do that when people around won't let you in?

'everybody belongs somewhere', maybe some are just lost. i have a feeling that i belong in

that group. constantly finding my way, finding that place where i belong. sometimes i think

i have found that place, i was there all along. that place where lost people are. it a

place, it's somewhere and i belong there.

i will and i am going on. i will never give up, i may give in and i may stop for sometime

but i won't give up till i've reach the future and find out what it holds for me. i owe that

to myself.

to succeed and strive in this journey we call life.

and our journey never ends. one journey that ends starts a new one. we are travellers.

our guide is the MAN UPSTAIRS.

i'll be fine. i am always fine.

give me something to hold on to

stories of fairies i still believe
of little people and politeness
the life that leads to happiness for all times
it still exists in my mind
i guess growing up isn't as hard as i thought
i still have my imagination that kid inside
stumbling across the straight path
finding new ways to walk
i can't seem to stop
the wind comes as it pleases
sweeping me up everytime i look down
there will be tomorrow when today's brown
there is faith when hope is gone
the sanguine youth
the sadness of betrayal will last
the sweetness of laughter everyday is forever

give me colours so i can paint

give me love so i can live

give me you so i'll have us

Monday, August 04, 2008

humor me

from Beliefnet

One of the requirements of every commencement speaker is that they offer some advice. Well, get ready, here it comes.

Soon you will be leaving the company of those who think they have all the answers—your professors, instructors and counselors—and going out into what we like to call the real world. In time you will meet up with other people who think they have all the answers. These people are called bosses. My advice is: humor them.

A little later you will meet additional people who think they have all the answers. These are called spouses. My advice is: humor them, too.

And if all goes well, in a few years you will meet still another group of people who think they have all the answers. These are called children. Humor them.

Life will go on, your children will grow up, go to school, and someday they could be taking part in a commencement ceremony just like this one. And who knows, the speaker responsible for handing out good advice might be you. Halfway through your speech, the graduate sitting next to your daughter will lean over and ask, “Who is that woman up there who thinks she has all the answers?” Well, thanks to the sound advice you are hearing today and that I hope you will all pass on, she will be able to say, “That is my mother. Humor her.”

so go on, humor me, yourself and others..^_^v