Wednesday, June 25, 2008

patience is the foundation

Do not lose hope in Allah, for He is the Creator. He will create another way for you. Do not flee from your trials; patience in adversity is the foundation of all virtue, of compassion and sainthood. Patience is the foundation, and without a sound foundation you cannot build a monument.

-Sheikh Abdul Qadir Jillani, "Fayuz E Yazdani"

i believe my belief

it just so happens that two of my friends are planning their anniversary with their other half at the same time. one of them couples is no longer a couple but the girl insists on preparing gifts for the boy. which i think i a sweet gesture and it shows that she treasures their relationship. her package consists of a CD which has a video presentation (collage of photos of them, words etc.), a couples t-shirt (which i designed...(my first!)) and ouh god i can't remember...never mind.

the other couple is happily together, may that last. i do not know if she has a package...but i do know that she wants to make a video presentation too (cause she asked me to help make it). still in the process of making it...

my point for this post is not to inform you of that. my point would be the whole picture in which the anniversary is a small part. the big picture i'm talking about is this 'couples' thing.

do not take my view so seriously, for it is merely my humble view.

i do not understand of the whole hype of 'coupling'. if you ask me...i'd say i belief in love after marriage. i truly do. and i belief that there is only one person that you truly and wholly love with all your heart and you want to spend your life with that said person. call me old fashion i do not mind. i believe what i believe.

one thing that i did not know about me until recently is, i have the capability to love someone. don't be surprised. given the events in my life, you really can't blame me for not believing in love. for not believing that it exists.

that is until i was trapped in it. i have gotten myself tangled in it.

i didn't know when it happened, why it happened? why to me? i was dumbfounded.

honestly i have no experience what so ever in this field. this love thing.

the occasional crush, of course. i have many. but believe me, that is as far as it goes.

a mere crush.

then it hit me...this love thing. it hit me right in the face. pulled the carpet under me...and i slipped right into it.

i am not strong.

lemme tell you that.

just as out-of-the-blue as it hit me, it left me.

just like that. like chipsmore..^_^v

kejap ade kejap tade.

and nothing in between. nothing like the stories i hear, nothing like the scenes i witness, nothing like what it's hyped up to be.

just nothing. there's a beginning and an ending but not the middle part. the middle part is missing.

do i long for it? i won't lie. yes i do. i am human after all. but am i sad that i didn't have that? partly. figure that out yourself.

tell me then, do i consider that as an experience in this 'couples' thing?

if you ask me...

me : no.

i do not want that.

what i want is a marriage. a marriage that is parallel with my belief.

Friday, June 20, 2008

my mother

God hears the words of the woman who complains to Muhammad about the cruelty of her husband; God hears her words when she complains directly to him. God listens to everything that is said; he hears all and observes all.

-Qur'an, Al-Mujadilah, Surah 58:1

hang in there.
Allah hears you everyday,
every second that you pray.

i know you will find peace,
i pray that you'll find bliss.

if i don't say enough now,
know that i always thank
you, for all that i have now.

Allah hears you.
hang in there
keep talking to Him.
He hears you even if i don't.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

true bliss

Those admitted to Paradise shall experience true bliss. Never shall they know want, nor will they suffer old age.

-The Prophet Muhammad (SAW), as reported by Abu Hurairah

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Aim for the moon, even if you miss you'll land amongst the stars

what i've been up to?

hee hee...yesterday i baked chocolate chip cookies. those big chewy ones!!

here the recipe if you wanna try...


* 2 cups all-purpose flour
* 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
* 1/2 teaspoon salt
* 3/4 cup unsalted butter, melted
* 1 cup packed brown sugar
* 1/2 cup white sugar
* 1 tablespoon vanilla extract
* 1 egg
* 1 egg yolk
* 2 cups semisweet chocolate chips


1. Preheat the oven to 325 degrees F (165 degrees C). Grease cookie sheets or line with parchment paper.
2. Sift together the flour, baking soda and salt; set aside.
3. In a medium bowl, cream together the melted butter, brown sugar and white sugar until well blended. Beat in the vanilla, egg, and egg yolk until light and creamy. Mix in the sifted ingredients until just blended. Stir in the chocolate chips by hand using a wooden spoon. Drop cookie dough 1/4 cup at a time onto the prepared cookie sheets. Cookies should be about 3 inches apart.
4. Bake for 15 to 17 minutes in the preheated oven, or until the edges are lightly toasted. Cool on baking sheets for a few minutes before transferring to wire racks to cool completely.

sape nak???

our actions

When we allow God’s power to pervade all our actions, and submit to his decrees, we shed all anxiety about the effects of our actions on others; we cease even to consider the effects of our actions. When we cease to consider the effects of our actions, we are adopting the attributes of God himself.

-Qushayri, "Risalah"

believe it or not our actions affect others. some people don't really consider that. me? well i consider other people's thoughts/feelings first, then mine. however that may not be all the time, most probably most of the time ^_^v

come willingly

Come against your will is the toggle of the intelligent;
come willingly is the spring-time
of those who have lost their hearts.

-Mathnawi [III, 4472]

Monday, June 16, 2008


Destiny is no matter of chance. It is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.

-William Jennings Bryan

Sunday, June 15, 2008

appreciate each other as they are

A group of men came to Rabi'a in order to test her. They said: 'Virtues and special gifts have been bestowed on men, not women. The crown of nobility has been placed on the heads of men, and the belt of generosity has been tied around their waists. The gift of prophesy has never descended on any woman. What can you boast of?' Rabi'a replied: 'I shall not dispute what you say. Yet women are less prone to pride, egoism and self-worship; they are less liable to think highly of themselves. And they do not so readily exploit others for their own pleasure.'

-Attar, "Rabi'a"
From "366 Readings From Islam," translated by Robert Van der Weyer.

i have always been proving myself to be equal as to men. not exactly equal. it's just that men are always undermining women as the lesser of the sex. which is completely and truly uncalled for! i am not saying that women are the greater sex, i am merely stating that we are special in our own ways. we were made the way we are for a reason. personally i am not trying to be better than the opposite sex. i just want them to think of women as capable as they can be. perhaps we may not be capable of lifting heavy weights (i know they have women categories..duh. just as an example. not a very true example. what the hell?! just for the sake of an example) but we may be better at somethings that men will never be. we are not here to be stepped on or slaved. we are here to help men. vice versa.

what do you desire most?

A man was lying sick. His friends asked him: "What would you most desire?"
The sick man answered, "My greatest desire is to desire something."

-Sadi: Gulistan 3

From "366 Readings From Islam," translated by Robert Van der Weyer.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

i am here and not done

that laughter i am fond of

turned out to be mocking voices now

that glint in those eyes
turned out to be mischievous deeds now

that sincere heart
turned out to be a crushing claw now

that love you showed me
turned out to be lies now

i am here and not done
and yet i wonder how could you now


within tears.

Within tears, find a hidden laughter;
seek treasure amid ruins, sincere one.

-Mathnawi [VI, 1586]

i have come to realise that there's is really good in everything that happens, even the bad happenings. perhaps this is because i myself have been through what i can surely say the worst time of my life. everything just happened to happen at the same time. the unfortunate twist in my study life, the fall of my family, the rekindled friendship with my love(it really is a bad thing cause it kills me). it was surprising the way i handled it. i was crushing to pieces inside, though i never showed it to anyone. no one knows the true extent of the damage. but i was able to get use to it without much trouble. it was as if they(the problems) were always there. like this blind was lifted to reveal the sorrows within. that twist in my study, i knew my past mistakes will come and haunt me. i just didn't know that it would cause a disaster this big. the fall of my family? well, my family was never whole, it is physically. emotionally and spiritually, never. the matter of whole or not does not really matter. i know that however much we bicker, they will always be there for me(except for my father). don't get me started on him. i do not love nor do i hate him. it is the worst a family member could ask for, i feel nothing towards him. that is the truth. i used to look up to him. we used to, my brother and i. now, that is the past that will never be the present. the rekindled friendship? i truly am having a difficult time accepting the fact that i am just a friend. that is all i can say about that.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

remedy for me

This world is full of remedies. But you have no remedy until God opens a window for you. You may not be aware of that remedy just now. In the hour of need it will be made clear to you. The Prophet said God made a remedy for every pain.

-Rumi, "Mathnawi"


still waiting...

um, yea waiting....

oh maybe it is not yet my hour of need...


regrets for the past

If misfortune befalls you, it is the consequence of your own actions. Yet God forgives much. On this earth you can not escape God; and there is no one apart from God who can protect or help you.

-Qur'an, Ash-Shura, Surah 42:30-31

now this verse from the Quran, really hits the spot. i am sure that it is my own actions that has brought me to this road i am walking on. am i disappointed? that you can bet on. i however do not regret it. the actions that i decided on taking is my choice at that time and it was my decision to make. perhaps at that time i was not able to see the big picture, the consequences that will be brought on to me when i make that decision. who am i kidding? i do regret it at times when i reflect on the past.

“We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.” -Jim Rohn

but i believe that...

“Forget regret, or life is yours to miss.”Jonathan Larson

and i have hope, because...

“Never let go of hope. One day you will see that it all has finally come together. What you have always wished for has finally come to be. You will look back and laugh at what has passed and you will ask yourself... 'How did I get through all of that?”

because if i have the capability to make actions that bring bad consequences, then i must have the capability to make actions that lead to joy in my own heart. remember that things come in pairs?

therefore support me when i am in pain and i will be happy with you when i am joyed.


Speech is a great blessing conferred on man by God, thereby distinguishing him from all other creatures. But speech like wine intoxicates the mind. Thus the Prophet said: "He who keeps silent shall be saved." For in silence are concealed many spiritual blessings and in speech many evils.

-Al-Hujwiri, "The Kashf al-Mahjub"

reclaiming the word JIHAD

It was God who created you; yet some of you refuse to believe, while others have faith. He is aware of all your actions. He created the heavens and the earth to manifest the truth. He fashioned each one of you--and each one of you is beautiful. To God you will all return. He knows all that the heavens and the earth contain. He knows all that you hide and all that you reveal. He knows your deepest thoughts.

-Qur'an, At-Taghabun, Surah 64:2-4


you tell me, is it not hard to be content? there is always that human nature of wanting more than what we have. i am not saying that it is wrong with having that. i am asking of an answer on how is it contentment when one always has that urge to want more. i guess, it depends on what that something more is. if it is something that isn't overindulging perhaps it is alright to want it? i do not know for sure. i think it is alright in my humble opinion.

i am content with what i have now. do i want more shoes? yeah. do i want more clothes? definitely. however much i want all those, i am not going to waste my money on them if i can find other necessities which is far more important. but i guess it is okay to have the sense of wanting. we are exposed of the western culture. we can but not help ourselves with falling in the trap that is westernization. see i'm spelling 'westernization' the US way. let me correct it. westernisation. that's it, i am more comfortable with using the British spelling. mind you.

i'll leave you with this short quote:

Once a person said to a dervish, "All I ask for is a small dwelling in Paradise."

The dervish replied, "If you displayed the same contentment with what you already have in this world, you would have found ultimate bliss."

-Sheikh Abdul Qadir Jillani, "Fayuz E Yazdani"